In all this time that I’ve been silent, I have totally been working out every day.
Haha, sorry, I couldn’t say that with a straight face.. I have been trying really hard to work out more though. And I have been succeeding.
In all seriousness, I’ve been averaging a work out three times a week. I come home, try to get outside with my daughter for at least twenty minutes, make dinner, watch a little TV, have a little cuddle time, put my daughter to bed and then work out. Since the last time I wrote, this bootcamp regime of working out whenever I feel like it, I have lost fifteen pounds, so clearly something is working. (Not just my mouth, har-de-har-har).
I have always HATED it when people said, “Oh, I can’t go a day without working out. I’m like, totes addicted to endorphins.” What planet are these people from? But after working out every day for two weeks (which is the longest stretch I’ve done, believe me, because for the past two weeks I have not worked out at all) I started to see what they meant. It wasn’t like I was looking forward to the workout. I still l felt all the feels that I normally feel with my feelers at the thought of working out.
You mean you like, want me to get up? And put pants on? AND A BRA?? But once it got to be around bed time for my toddler, I was getting very antsy. My patience went from minimal to zilch. I was addicted to the endorphins and my body needed the rush, and it knew that rush happened at about 8:15 every night. And it got PISSED when it didn’t happen, in the form of me snapping at my roommate, or writing really snarky comments on reddit.
So even though I haven’t been as dedicated and disciplined as I would have hoped, I still have managed to get under what I think of as the “Gross Threshold”. The Gross Threshold, by the way, is not named as such because people who are overweight are gross. It’s called the Gross Threshold because I feel gross at a certain weight. When I have to rummage for clothes at Goodwill that will cover my breadback and minimize my FUPA, I feel gross. And even though I’m still overweight, I feel better. My clothes are fitting better and I have even put away the pregnancy jeans. (They kind of split in half with a very comical sound when I stepped over the baby gate, but they were too loose anyway.)
My point is, I’m doing what I can to make my body better. My mind is a landmine of stress. I don’t know how much longer I can afford my apartment, I have to find a new roommate, an unmentionable dude still has a soul like a bag of dicks, and on top of all that I did not perform well at work last month, and my obsessive compulsive disorder is coming back. (Shit – did I leave the oven on? Aw, cripes.)
But I can still eat right. I found this site: http://www.budgetbytes.com/. It’s all so good. I am no where near trying every recipe, but the stuff I have tried is delicious. (I particularly recommend http://www.budgetbytes.com/2014/11/moroccan-lentil-vegetable-stew/).
I can still go outside for twenty minutes despite the weather. I can still work out on the days I don’t feel like I’m going to die if I don’t get to just sit and read.
I can still take care of myself and my daughter and that’s the most important thing. Sometimes that means taking a mental break and playing the Sims. Sometimes that means working out as hard as I can hit it. Sometimes it means working out and bitching about it in my head the whole time. I can still make Fitness my goal, even if it’s not the most important one.
EDIT: A recent progress picture will be up tonight.